Santa Crickets?

Need to do a "Cricket" themed craft for I_'s class as they are studying crickets in Science this year. Now I am fiddling with clothespins, pipe cleaners and wire to figure out the best way to make something vaguely cricket-like.

I will have to lead 60 second graders in this craft on Friday, so I've got to find the least destructive way to construct these things.

Taking a rare day off

It's been forever that I took a day to myself. I have a Dr.'s appointment at 12:30, so that basically shoots the whole day. Instead of going in to work this morning, I went to L_'s class to volunteer. It was so cute. Her teacher got them all doing meditation in a circle, "using their actor's tools" and talking about reaching into their self-control and concentration to relax and calm down.

I was talking to I_ about her favorite holidays. Here is an excerpt:

I: I like Easter because it is all about nature and Christmas because it is all about Jesus. ( She's getting ready for first communion this year, so we are talking about religion more and more.)

me: Well, you know, Easter is a religion holiday too. We remember Jesus dying on the cross and being reborn for us. (I will go into pagan roots of Easter a little later.) So that's whay we give out eggs - they are a symbol of rebirth and new life.

I (without missing a beat): MMMmmmm..... Candy life...

My wife wants to know why I don't write about her more

So, in the spirit of including S_ more often, here are 5 things about my wife.

1. She was told as a child that her ears were her most beautiful feature. (Point of fact: Though beautiful, they are not what drew me to my wife.)

2. She has a book sickness. Her Amazon wish list currently runs 20+ pages.

3. Up until right now, she thought that Phalanges was spelled with an "F".

4. She hates cauliflower and so has prejudiced my offspring against a perfectly innocent cruciferous vegetable.

5. She is a devotee of Asphalta, goddess of parking spaces. She always gets the space up front. She says it is a matter of faith and that I, as an unbeliever, cannot hope to acquire the same level of parking mojo that she has.

All of this is true. She is hitting me as I write this...

Science Can Be a Lucrative Career Choice...

OK, so 6 days into Blog Everyday April, and I've already missed a day. I take a pass this time around. Today, offspring #1 had her surgery, so it was an emotional roller coaster. More on that later, but before I crash, let me tell a story that happened yesterday.

I was elsewhere in the house when this occurred, but S_ and a friend were sitting around before dinner, chatting about the day. Offspring #1 comes into the kitchen carrying (very carefully) a small tin full of water. She was slowly making her way across the kitchen so as not to spill the water. S_ asks offspring "What are you doing?" and Offspring replies, "I thought I would do an experiment about evaporation. Because I'm a scientist."

O.o

So, S_ and friend help Offspring set up the experiment outside and dissuade her from checking on it 5 minutes later to see if anything had evaporated yet. Offspring does not appreciate that science may not work on her preferred timetable of right now. Later on that evening, we were discussing a pie recipe, and I mentioned it needed a cup of evaporated milk, to which Offspring #1 said, "Daddy, a cup of evaporated milk would be NO milk."

Touché.

It's hard when your six year old looks at you like you are retarded.

Is is hard to sneak carrying grooming implements?

We have reached the stage of the offspring's development in which knock-knock jokes are considered hysterical. I must make some phone calls to spread the pain. The godfather is going to be on the receiving end of some serious knock-knockery later on.

On another note, gtchaos is attending the New Zealand sheep shearing championships today (or possibly from the future). Live streaming video from here. I saw some sheep being sheared when I was in the En Zed, but this is on a whole new scale. You know, the sheep look simultaneously startled at being manhandled and relieved at getting the shear. I'm trying to imagine what kind of equivalent action could be done to a person to provoke both reactions at once. All I can think of is being manhandled and forcibly back waxed by a ninja beautician strike team.

Dining from the Family Buffet

So it's the coldest weekend of the winter so far - temperatures in the teens - so, of course, our heat went out. We called the repairman, dug out the space heaters, and forced the offspring into sweaters against their will. (We had at least one "My sweater is giving me a headache" attempt at de-sweatering from the 4 year old.)

S_ asked why the heat had to break this weekend, and I told her it was just part of marrying into my family. That and visiting a doctor/emergency room when on vacation. She said that she hoped not to have gotten that part of the family legacy, but I told her that it was an all-you can eat buffet - they serve what they serve. Beef tenderloin is right next to the jell-o salad.

On a different note, the offspring are playing some kind of Fairies/HSM/Dora game with all the dolls on the kitchen floor. I'm not really sure what' s going on, but I just heard the oldest yell "She's off to kill the Queen of India!"

grin. I must be doing something right.